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A Love Story

Most of us know worship from the church we grew up in, and I’m no exception. I remember the Organ prelude, the Call to Worship by the choir, the hymns, the Welcome (turn around and shake hands with people like you care). There was some sort of choir anthem and a solo we called the “Special Music” (to differentiate is from the other “not so special music”). Then a sermon, and sometimes even a choral response (“The Lord is in His Holy Temple” was a popular one). Then the invitation, benediction, and organ postlude.

There was nothing wrong with any of that. The one thing I never knew was “why” we did things that way. In fact, I grew up in what was considered a Bible-believing, Bible teaching church from as long as I can remember. But I don’t remember one single sermon on what worship was, and why we should do it a certain way. 

No, we just did it. We had no idea what we were doing exactly, or why we were supposed to be singing. But everyone else was, so we pretended to, at least.

So I think it would be wise here at the front of my little book that we take the advice of Julie Andrews to the Von Trapp kids and “start at the very beginning”…

First, worship is a verb. It’s something you do.

It’s not something you just sit back and observe. it’s not something you watch on livestream while doing dishes. It’s something you actively participate in, or else it’s only religious entertainment for you. 

“Jesus answered him, “The first of all the commandments is: ‘Hear, O Israel, the LORD our God, the LORD is one. 30 And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.  This is the first commandment.” – Mark 12:29-30 

If you do something with all your “heart, soul, mind, and strength”, there’s a good chance you won’t be passive about it. It is something you’re doing with enthusiasm. And it’s easy to be enthusiastic about something you love. 

Just watch people at any sporting event. Lots of passion and enthusiasm. 

Bless the LORD, O my soul; and all that is within mebless His holy name! – Psalm 103:1

Here again, if I do something with “all that’s within me”, I’m giving it all I’ve got. I’m holding nothing back. As the kids would say, I’m “all in”.

Second, to build on worship as something you do, the Biblical descriptions of worship make it clear it’s actually a “contact sport”. It is a very tactile, physical expression of passion for God employing my mind, BODY, and spirit. Look at this listing of the Biblical “postures of praise”:

Lifting up our hands – Ps. 63:4, 134:2, 141:2, 1 Tim 2:8. 

Clapping – Ps. 47:1.

Playing of instruments – Ps. 33:2-3, 57:9, 150:3-5a

Standing – 2 Chron 5:12, Ps. 135:2, Rev 4:9-11

Kneeling, bowing, prostration – Ps. 95:6, Rev 19:4, Eph 3:14, Phil 2:10-11, Neh 8:6. 

Singing – Ps. 47:6

Audible – Ps. 26:7, 66:8, 17, 98:4, Acts 16:25. 

Dancing, leaping – Ps. 30:11, 149:3, 150:4, Ex 15:20-21, Acts 3:8, 2 Sam 6:14-16


Shouting – Ps. 47:1, 35:27
- Crying out, Isa 12:6, Ps. 89:26

Singing in the Spirit – 1 Cor 14:15 

Now look at a list of the seven most common Hebrew wors commonly translated as “praise”:

Halal is a primary Hebrew root word for praise. Our word “hallelujah” comes from the base word. It means, “to be clear, to shine, to boast, show, to rave, celebrate, to be clamorously foolish.”



Psalms 149:3 Let them praise (halal) his name in the dance: let them sing praises with the timbrel and harp. 


Psalms 150:1 Praise (Halal) the Lord! Praise (Halal) God in his sanctuary; Praise (Halal) him in his mighty expanse. 
Psalms 113:1 Praise (Halal) ye the Lord, praise (halal) o ye servants of the Lord, praise (halal) the name of the Lord.


Yadah is a verb with a root meaning “the extended hand, to throw out the hand, therefore to worship with extended hand.” 

Genesis 49:8 “Judah, your brother will praise (yadah) you; your hand, will be on the neck of your enemies.”


2 Chronicles 20:21 “Give thanks (yadah) to the Lord, for his lovingkindness is everlasting.”


Psalms 107:15 “Oh that men would praise (yadah) the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men.” 


Isaiah 12:4 “Give thanks (yadah) to the Lord, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done, and proclaim that his name is exalted.”

Towdah comes from the same principle root word is yadah and literally means, “an extension of the hand in adoration or acceptance.” By way of application in the Psalms and elsewhere; it is used for thanking God for “things not yet received” as well as things already received. 

Psalms 50:23 “Whoso offereth praise (towdah) glorifieth me; and to him that ordereth his conversation aright will I shew the salvation of God.” 


Psalms 50:14 “Offer unto God praise (towdah) and pay thy vows unto the Most High.”

Shabach means, “to shout, to address in a loud tone, to command, to triumph.” 

Isaiah 12:6 “Cry aloud and shout (shabach) for joy, O inhabitant of Zion, for great in your midst is the Holy One of Israel.”


Psalms 145:4 “One generation shall praise (shabach) thy works to another and declare thy mighty acts.” 


Psalms 47:1 “O clap your hands, all peoples; shout (shabach) to God with the voice of joy or triumph.)”

Barak means “to kneel down, to bless God as an act of adoration.” 

Psalms 34:1 “I will bless (barak) the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.” 


1 Chronicles 29:20 “Then David said to all the assembly, “Now bless (barak) the Lord your God.” And all the assembly blessed (barak) the Lord, the God of their fathers, and bowed low and did homage to the Lord and to the king.”


Psalms 95:6 “O come let us worship and bow down, to bless God as an act of adoration.”

Zamar means “to pluck the strings of an instrument, to sing, to praise; a musical word which is largely involved with joyful expressions of music with musical instruments.” 

Psalms 21:13 “Be exalted O Lord, in Thine own strength, so will we sing and praise (zamar) Thy power. 


Psalms 57:8-9 “Awake my glory; awake harp and lyre, I will awaken the dawn! I will give thanks to Thee, O Lord among the peoples; I will sing praises (zamar) to Thee among the nations.” 


1 Chronicles 16:9 “Sing to Him, sing praises (zamar) to Him; speak of all His wonders.”

Tehillah is derived from the word halal and means “the singing of halals, to sing or to laud; perceived to involve music, especially singing; hymns of the Spirit. 

Psalms 22:3 “Yet Thou are holy, o Thou who art enthroned upon the praises (tehillah) of Israel.” 


Psalms 33:1 “Rejoice in the Lord, o ye righteous, for praise (tehillah) is comely for the upright.” 


Isaiah 61:3 “To grant to those who mourn in Zion, Giving them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise (tehillah) instead of the spirit of fainting. So they shall be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, and that He may be glorified.” 

One thing that was drummed into my head as a church kid was how the sermon was everything. Nothing mattered more in a worship service than the sermon, because it was proclamation of the “Word of God”. The implication was the music was just the preliminaries and the sermon was all that mattered. However, the following verse seems to contradict that assumption:

Moreover David and the captains of the army separated for the service some of the sons of Asaph, of Heman, and of Jeduthun, who should prophesy with harps, stringed instruments, and cymbals”. –  1 Chronicles 25:1

This passage says that the King had appointed the captains of his army to choose who the worship leaders would be! Worship must be of great importance if the Joint Chiefs of Staff are picking them. And also noticed they were called to “prophecy” on their instruments, not just play them. They were proclaiming the Word of God the same as any preacher would, expect the only difference was theirs was done with a melody and rhythm. 

What follows are some significant Biblical passages referring to worship and praise:

2 Chronicles 20:19
Then the Levites of the children of the Kohathites and of the children of the Korahites stood up to praise the LORD God of Israel with voices loud and high.

Ezra 3:11
And they sang responsively, praising and giving thanks to the LORD: “For He is good, For His mercy endures forever toward Israel.” Then all the people shouted with a great shout, when they praised the LORD, because the foundation of the house of the LORD was laid.

Psalm 9:1
I will praise You, O LORD, with my whole heart; I will tell of all Your marvelous works.

Psalm 16:11
You will show me the path of life;In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. 

Psalm 22:3

But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel.

Psalm 22:25
My praise shall be of You in the great assembly;I will pay My vows before those who fear Him.

Psalm 28:7
The LORD is my strength and my shield;My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart greatly rejoices, And with my song I will praise Him.

Psalm 30:9
“What profit is there in my blood,When I go down to the pit? Will the dust praise You? Will it declare Your truth?

Psalm 34:1
I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.

Psalm 40:3
He has put a new song in my mouth—Praise to our God; Many will see it and fear, And will trust in the LORD.

Psalm 96:1
Oh, sing to the LORD a new song!Sing to the LORD, all the earth. 

Psalm 100:4
Enter into His gates with thanksgiving,And into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. 

(This is a road map for entering into God’s presence)

Psalm 138:2
I will worship toward Your holy temple,And praise Your name For Your lovingkindness and Your truth; For You have magnified Your word above all Your name.

Psalm 145:4
One generation shall praise Your works to another, And shall declare Your mighty acts.

(A prescription for multigenerational worship)

Psalm 149:3
Let them praise His name with the dance;Let them sing praises to Him with the timbrel and harp.

Psalm 150:2Praise Him for His mighty acts;Praise Him according to His excellent greatness!

Psalm 150:3Praise Him with the sound of the trumpet;Praise Him with the lute and harp!

Psalm 150:5Praise Him with loud cymbals;Praise Him with clashing cymbals!

Psalm 150:6
Let everything that has breath praise the LORD.Praise the LORD!

Isaiah 60:18
Violence shall no longer be heard in your land, Neither wasting nor destruction within your borders; But you shall call your walls Salvation, And your gates Praise.

Isaiah 66:1
Thus says the LORD:“ Heaven is My throne, And earth is My footstool. Where is the house that you will build Me? And where is the place of My rest?

Jeremiah 17:26
And they shall come from the cities of Judah and from the places around Jerusalem, from the land of Benjamin and from the lowland, from the mountains and from the South, bringing burnt offerings and sacrifices, grain offerings and incense, bringing sacrifices of praise to the house of the LORD. 

Habakkuk 3:17-18

Though the fig tree may not blossom, Nor fruit be on the vines; Though the labor of the olive may fail, And the fields yield no food; Though the flock may be cut off from the fold, And there be no herd in the stalls— Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation.

John 4:23But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him.

John 4:24God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.”

Acts 16:25But at midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them.

1 Corinthians 14:26

How is it then, brethren? Whenever you come together, each of you has a psalm, has a teaching, has a tongue, has a revelation, has an interpretation. Let all things be done for edification.

Ephesians 5:19
speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord,

Colossians 3:16
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

Hebrews 13:15
Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name. 

You may have noticed there are many more passages in the Old Testament about worship than the New. I think there are some practical reasons for that.

First, the New Testament’s “psalms, hymns and spiritual songs” descriptors seem to be a deconstruction itself of everything that was going on in the Old Testament. Paul is not ruling everything else out, but boiling everything down into those basic three.

However, nothing about the new Testament teachings on worship contradict Old Testament teachings about worship. The simplification of New Testament teaching was probably essential considering that the venues of New Testament worship demanded the basics. When you move from Old Testament worship in temples lead by hundreds of participants to worship in houses lead by laypeople, you simply have to get more basic. The only thing that’s changed from the Old to the New is the administration, organizational structure, and perhaps the number of participants leading worship.

In contrast, Calvin’s reductionist “regulative principle of worship” tried to propose we’re only allowed to use practices that are implicitly mentioned in the New Testament in our worship. When taken to it’s extreme, this is how Church of Christ believers justify keeping musical instruments out of worship. They aren’t mentioned in the New Testament, but that’s because they would not have been present in most of the homes where the church was meeting. 

If you wanted to take that principle to its most ridiculous natural conclusion, iPads and indoor bathrooms should also be prohibited during a worship service since they’re not mentioned in the New Testament! However, there is no new testament warning against stringed instruments or expanding to other kinds of worship. Therefore, incorporation of new forms of worship and new tools and instruments for worship is reasonable and completely Biblical.

Of all the passages in the Bible on worship, there is one I believe is most pertinent to us in the 21st century church:

I sleep, but my heart is awake; It is the voice of my beloved!He knocks, saying, “Open for me, my sister, my love,My dove, my perfect one;For my head is covered with dew,My locks with the drops of the night.”

I have taken off my robe; How can I put it on again?I have washed my feet; How can I defile them? – Song of Solomon 5:2-3

While this passage may seem an odd choice, I picked it to point out a key thing about the Bible most people miss. The Bible is not primarily a theology book, history book, or a rule book. 

The Bible is a love story. Why else does God call His church “the bride of Christ”?

It is a story of the greatest love the world has ever known, and how we were created to recognize God’s loveliness and acknowledge it. Our very purpose on earth is praise, as the Westminster Catechism accurately reflects:


Q. What is the chief end of man?
A. Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.”

While God is not needy, God desires for His creation to see Him and respond to His beauty and love. And worship is our “love language” toward God:

Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name. – Hebrews 13:15

God responds to your passion for Him with His presence. God is the pursuer, constantly pursuing His beloved:

But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him. – John 4:23

And so…

Adam walking in the garden

Enoch walked with God

Abraham was the “friend of God’

But like Adam, our hearts are bound to wander to other loves. And God is jealous of our infidelity. 

So Job was tested to see if he loved God more than God’s blessings.

So God warned us to “have no other gods before Him”.

So the idols in the temple of Dagon fell down before the Ark of the Covenant.

So God set up a Tabernacle, where He could once again have a rendezvous with His creation. But the tent is divided up in sections – holy place divided from Most Holy Place – like an unfaithful spouse banished to the far end of the house. Moses respected God’s warnings about breaching the protocol of the separations.

But then David, a “man after God’s heart”, sets up a different Tabernacle for worship. Where Moses emphasized the holiness and separateness of God, David emphasized  touching God’s heart, through worship. 

In his Tabernacle, worship was playing 24/7, constantly lifting up praise to God. 

In his Tabernacle, there was no veil of separation between the worshippers and the Ark of God’s presence.

In his Tabernacle, there was no blood sacrifice.

David broke all the rules and sat before the Ark. But he knew a secret about God, that His desire was for our worship. He gave God what He desired, and God gave David intimacy in His presence.

But after David, the veil goes back up. 

God tells Hosea, “You want to know how I feel about my people’s betrayal? Go marry a prostitute and you’ll know!” Finally, after Malachi there are 400 years of silence…

…until Jesus!

That is why the veil was torn down in the Temple when Jesus was crucified. God always hated that separation between us. And now that Jesus had paid our debt of sin, we could have unhindered fellowship once again. The romance was repaired!

And now today, in our hearts God is rebuilding that Tabernacle of David…

‘After this I will return and will rebuild the tabernacle of David, which has fallen down;I will rebuild its ruins, And I will set it up; 

So that the rest of mankind may seek the Lord,Even all the Gentiles who are called by My name,Says the Lord who does all these things.’ – Acts 15:16-17

Now His Spirit actually resides inside of us. So when all God’s children gather together, it is the culmination of a great love story. We join our voices together, celebrating the great God who sought us while in our sin, rescued us and made us His Bride.

Sadly, today many churches keep the presence of God outside their worship services. Sometimes it’s out of fear, that God may inspire us to respond to Him in some embarrassing way. Our intimidation at expressing intimacy and affection in worship must grieve Him so, as we insist on going through the motions Sunday after Sunday…

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. – Revelation 3:20

This is why worship matters. Each Sunday we gather together once again to tell the grand love story that weaves throughout Scripture. And this is why we can’t help but praise Him!

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Our dream house was a 120-year old 3-story Victorian home. It was just a few blocks away from one of the loveliest parks in the city and the same distance from the church I pastored. I could literally walk to work, and did so on many mornings. How convenient!

Unlike the other brick houses that lined the streets nearby, this one was painted light yellow and stood apart from the rest. Plaster reliefs of baby angels wrapped around the base of the house. They represented the children of the original owners, making the structure even more unique. It also had a three-car garage at the back of it. Few houses in this older section of town had one as large, and many people resorted to parking on the street. But not us! On just an average salary, we had bought one of the nicest places to live in the area. 

I had always dreamed of owning a Victorian home. I had performed the role of Prof. Henry Higgins from the musical My Fair Lady right before we moved to our new city. So I was primed to live the life of the English gentleman, sipping tea in my beautiful old house. I loved the old wood, the stained glass windows, and our “penthouse suite” for my wife and me on the top floor. We’d be sequestered away from the noise of our little girls playing below us. It all seemed so ideal.

But it turned out to be anything but ideal. Our “Golden House”, as our little girls came to call it, was not so golden. In fact, our dream house almost killed us, quite literally. 

One afternoon I got a call at the church. It was Dawn, my wife, and she was sobbing hysterically. Finally I was able to make out enough of her words to understand what was happening.

“I fell…come home!”

Almost 20 years ago, my wife had been in a bad car accident that crushed her right leg. That ankle couldn’t turn at all. So as I ran the 5 blocks to my home, I knew what had happened.

When I got to the house, I found Dawn in the basement. She was headed to the washer and drier there, and had misjudged a step going down. She hit the concrete floor hard.

After getting her to the hospital, thankfully we learned nothing had been broken. However, that would be just the first of several falls for Dawn down those steps. We eventually moved the washer and drier up to the second floor, which helped a little. But the bottom line was a three-story house with narrow stairways were not meant for a woman who had challenges with mobility.

I also learned having your bedroom on the third-floor is not a good idea for a chubby guy in his mid-50s. There were a few days I wondered if I’d still be alive by the time I reached the top floor. Though I began on the stairway to the bedroom, I might end up on the stairway to heaven…

Then there was the city. Dawn and I always loved culture, restaurants, theater and all the things a great city has to offer. So living there, we felt like kids in a candy store. There was always some new restaurant to explore, always a show playing somewhere, and interesting people living all around us. It seemed ideal.

Except for crime. And taxes. Many cities are big on those, and ours was no exception. We had both in abundance.

One of our regular nightly diversions was watching the notifications on our community’s “Next Door App” alert us to all the recent shootings and hold-ups around us. One of us would hear gunshots, and I’d watch for the posts to pop up. I’d then calculate how close it was to our home. Many were within just a few blocks, some just down the street. 

We would occasionally get notices of some tax we hadn’t paid. Usually, we neglected to pay because the city had neglected to ever send a bill. Then one day, you get a notice you’re being sent to a collections agency, even though you still hadn’t received a bill yourself. 

Once we got a bill for trash pick-up. We were confused because we paid a refuse bill on time every month. But a lady on the phone informed us what we had paid was in fact only the garbage bill. There was completely different bill that was a tax for just having trash pick up available to us in the city. This bill was paying for the “possibility” our trash might be picked up. No kidding.

I’m sure they’re still probably working on a way to collect a tax on our taxes. 

All of this added together was a painful lesson on the difference between perception and reality. After we first moved to that city and were still living in an apartment, I walked down those very streets and fantasized about how wonderful living there would be. When we found the Golden House, we rejoiced and basically cried out, “Here, take our money” to the realtor. 

But the view from the outside of a situation is always much different from the inside. Nothing is ever quite what you expect…with houses, or with life.

The problem with so many of the things we want is it’s too often based on an illusion. We think a thing, a person, or a situation will bring happiness. But happiness is never found in those things outside of us.

Real happiness only happens from the inside out.

There’s an old fashioned Bible word for this foolishness: covetousness. The prohibition against coveting is actually the 10th and final commandment. It’s easily skimmed over in favor of the more R-rated commandments against murder or adultery. Simply wanting your neighbors stuff as opposed to stealing it or killing for it seems like no big deal in comparison.

But coveting is like a powerful drug. The addict never gets enough. Once he gets that one thing he’s obsessed over, he’s disappointed to realize it doesn’t fulfill his needs and he moves on to something more. The new car he’d wanted all his life now sits in the garage most days. She can’t even remember why she bought that purse now. That’s how coveting works: whatever you get, it’s never enough. You’re always left wanting something else, and even more addicted to your desires.

Whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure, for my heart rejoiced in all my labor; And this was my reward from all my labor. Then I looked on all the works that my hands had done and on the labor in which I had toiled; And indeed all was vanity and grasping for the wind. There was no profit under the sun. - Ecclesiastes 2:10-11

Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions. - Luke 12:15

There was nothing wrong with us wanting a house. But it was very wrong of me to think that it would bring us so much happiness on its own. The ideal life and fulfillment I was expecting from a house was unreasonable. 

That kind of happiness only comes from God’s address, not mine.

Inevitably, we become like kids on the day after Christmas. We’ve opened every package, played with every toy, and we’re already bored with them. The newness wore off in a day, all because we were expecting too much from them to begin with.

Most homes stop being dream houses the minute we walk into them. Reality inevitably sets in, and the “house porn” on the realtor’s website is now just a bunch of plaster and dry wall. 

We finally made it out of our dream house before it killed us. No, we didn't run screaming from it in the middle of the night like in the Shining or the Amityville Horror. When we left, it did take quite a bite out of our finances, and we had to sell for quite a bit less than we'd paid. But the wound was worth it for the lesson we learned.

We’re in a new place now, in a much smaller city. We’re renting a little one-story house we’re hoping to buy soon. We're in a little neighborhood where we hardly ever lock our front door. It's pretty boring compared to city life, but that’s just fine with me.

I’ve discovered what really makes a “dream house”. The dream is not the house, it’s the people you put in it. Regardless of the size or location, those people are what makes life worthwhile. 

Everything else is just a dream. And all that glitters is not a golden house.

Our dream house was a 120-year old 3-story Victorian home. It was just a few blocks away from one of the loveliest parks in the city and the same distance from the church I pastored. I could literally walk to work, and did so on many mornings. How convenient!

Unlike the other brick houses that lined the streets nearby, this one was painted light yellow and stood apart from the rest. Plaster reliefs of baby angels wrapped around the base of the house. They represented the children of the original owners, making the structure even more unique. It also had a three-car garage at the back of it. Few houses in this older section of town had one as large, and many people resorted to parking on the street. But not us! On just an average salary, we had bought one of the nicest places to live in the area. 

I had always dreamed of owning a Victorian home. I had performed the role of Prof. Henry Higgins from the musical My Fair Lady right before we moved to our new city. So I was primed to live the life of the English gentleman, sipping tea in my beautiful old house. I loved the old wood, the stained glass windows, and our “penthouse suite” for my wife and me on the top floor. We’d be sequestered away from the noise of our little girls playing below us. It all seemed so ideal.

But it turned out to be anything but ideal. Our “Golden House”, as our little girls came to call it, was not so golden. In fact, our dream house almost killed us, quite literally. 

One afternoon I got a call at the church. It was Dawn, my wife, and she was sobbing hysterically. Finally I was able to make out enough of her words to understand what was happening.

“I fell…come home!”

Almost 20 years ago, my wife had been in a bad car accident that crushed her right leg. That ankle couldn’t turn at all. So as I ran the 5 blocks to my home, I knew what had happened.

When I got to the house, I found Dawn in the basement. She was headed to the washer and drier there, and had misjudged a step going down. She hit the concrete floor hard.

After getting her to the hospital, thankfully we learned nothing had been broken. However, that would be just the first of several falls for Dawn down those steps. We eventually moved the washer and drier up to the second floor, which helped a little. But the bottom line was a three-story house with narrow stairways were not meant for a woman who had challenges with mobility.

I also learned having your bedroom on the third-floor is not a good idea for a chubby guy in his mid-50s. There were a few days I wondered if I’d still be alive by the time I reached the top floor. Though I began on the stairway to the bedroom, I might end up on the stairway to heaven…

Then there was the city. Dawn and I always loved culture, restaurants, theater and all the things a great city has to offer. So living there, we felt like kids in a candy store. There was always some new restaurant to explore, always a show playing somewhere, and interesting people living all around us. It seemed ideal.

Except for crime. And taxes. Many cities are big on those, and ours was no exception. We had both in abundance.

One of our regular nightly diversions was watching the notifications on our community’s “Next Door App” alert us to all the recent shootings and hold-ups around us. One of us would hear gunshots, and I’d watch for the posts to pop up. I’d then calculate how close it was to our home. Many were within just a few blocks, some just down the street. 

We would occasionally get notices of some tax we hadn’t paid. Usually, we neglected to pay because the city had neglected to ever send a bill. Then one day, you get a notice you’re being sent to a collections agency, even though you still hadn’t received a bill yourself. 

Once we got a bill for trash pick-up. We were confused because we paid a refuse bill on time every month. But a lady on the phone informed us what we had paid was in fact only the garbage bill. There was completely different bill that was a tax for just having trash pick up available to us in the city. This bill was paying for the “possibility” our trash might be picked up. No kidding.

I’m sure they’re still probably working on a way to collect a tax on our taxes. 

All of this added together was a painful lesson on the difference between perception and reality. After we first moved to that city and were still living in an apartment, I walked down those very streets and fantasized about how wonderful living there would be. When we found the Golden House, we rejoiced and basically cried out, “Here, take our money” to the realtor. 

But the view from the outside of a situation is always much different from the inside. Nothing is ever quite what you expect…with houses, or with life.

The problem with so many of the things we want is it’s too often based on an illusion. We think a thing, a person, or a situation will bring happiness. But happiness is never found in those things outside of us.

Real happiness only happens from the inside out.

There’s an old fashioned Bible word for this foolishness: covetousness. The prohibition against coveting is actually the 10th and final commandment. It’s easily skimmed over in favor of the more R-rated commandments against murder or adultery. Simply wanting your neighbors stuff as opposed to stealing it or killing for it seems like no big deal in comparison.

But coveting is like a powerful drug. The addict never gets enough. Once he gets that one thing he’s obsessed over, he’s disappointed to realize it doesn’t fulfill his needs and he moves on to something more. The new car he’d wanted all his life now sits in the garage most days. She can’t even remember why she bought that purse now. That’s how coveting works: whatever you get, it’s never enough. You’re always left wanting something else, and even more addicted to your desires.

Whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure, for my heart rejoiced in all my labor; And this was my reward from all my labor. Then I looked on all the works that my hands had done and on the labor in which I had toiled; And indeed all was vanity and grasping for the wind. There was no profit under the sun. - Ecclesiastes 2:10-11

Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions. - Luke 12:15

There was nothing wrong with us wanting a house. But it was very wrong of me to think that it would bring us so much happiness on its own. The ideal life and fulfillment I was expecting from a house was unreasonable. 

That kind of happiness only comes from God’s address, not mine.

Inevitably, we become like kids on the day after Christmas. We’ve opened every package, played with every toy, and we’re already bored with them. The newness wore off in a day, all because we were expecting too much from them to begin with.

Most homes stop being dream houses the minute we walk into them. Reality inevitably sets in, and the “house porn” on the realtor’s website is now just a bunch of plaster and dry wall. 

We finally made it out of our dream house before it killed us. No, we didn't run screaming from it in the middle of the night like in the Shining or the Amityville Horror. When we left, it did take quite a bite out of our finances, and we had to sell for quite a bit less than we'd paid. But the wound was worth it for the lesson we learned.

We’re in a new place now, in a much smaller city. We’re renting a little one-story house we’re hoping to buy soon. We're in a little neighborhood where we hardly ever lock our front door. It's pretty boring compared to city life, but that’s just fine with me.

I’ve discovered what really makes a “dream house”. The dream is not the house, it’s the people you put in it. Regardless of the size or location, those people are what makes life worthwhile. 

Everything else is just a dream. And all that glitters is not a golden house.