My nephew plays for one of the best football teams in the state now. They are known for their often lopsided scores, which can be a rush for their fans. Nothing better than a blowout to make you feel like a winner.
Since I’m a musician, I’ve never known a whole lot about sports. When my friends talk about their favorite team, I jokingly ask if they’re talking about the “brown ovally ball or the round orangy ball”. I’m not really that clueless, but I’m never one to pass up a good joke (or even a not so good one).
One thing I’ve learned from going to my nephew’s games is the “Mercy Rule”. It’s a provision where the coaches can mutually agree to limit the time in the second half, in order to keep a dominating team from running up the scoreboard. The idea is basically good: to win, but avoid humiliating the opponent. You should always guard against crushing a kid’s spirit. Learning to lose is helpful and part of life, but nobody should want kids to be humiliated.
I’ve always been what my wife calls a “rule follower”. Where she views many rules, including road signs, as mere suggestions, I’ve always seen them as the letter of the law. My conscience is usually running on steroids, so the thought of breaking a rule is something that would bring me great inward shame.
I played the part of FBI agent Carl Hanratty in the musical version of Catch Me If You Can, the life story of Frank Abignale, Jr. Frank had a notorious crime spree in the 60s impersonating various professionals, including surgeons and airline pilots. In the show, my big production number was Hanratty’s life philosophy, “Don’t Break the Rules”. It was a 5+ minute long song and dance number extolling the virtues of sticking to the rules. The song was a performer’s dream, because the number always brought down the house. There’s nothing more glorious than holding your final pose in a song forever as the applause seems to never end!
The cool thing about that song was I basically believed everything Hanratty sang about. Heck, one of the most important parts of the Bible is the Ten Commandments, which is basically a list of rules. So I do think following the rules is the best way in life. While others were laughing at what a straight-arrow Hanratty was, I was singing with admiration for him being one of the “good guys”.
But as I’ve gotten old (and only a tad wiser), I’ve discovered that some rules have been made not to keep you safe, but to actually limit you. Like the Mercy Rule in high school football, you will run into some rules that will hold you back, not from humiliating others but from being the person God meant you to be.
One thing I’ve discovered is some folks have very low standards for what they should accomplish in life. And the thing they hate more than anything is some showoff nearby who’s racking up the wins. Those wins can make a lazy man look bad by comparison. So often a high performance employee can find themselves sabotaged by others around them who want to keep the bar of achievement low enough for them to flop over. If these folks get into positions of power, they may even make rules that discourage achievement.
When you run into situations like this, you have to do something very difficult for a rule-follower. You have to break those rules and determine to deal with the consequences.
Another thing I’ve discovered is that some rules are put there by people who desire to control others. Though I’ve never understood folks like this, there are indeed people who get their jollies by dominating and controlling others.
Hey, dude who won’t let his wife buy anything without his approval…I’m talking to you!
We had a name for these folks when we were kids: we called them “bullies”. But when you grow up, sometimes these common, everyday psychos get in positions of authority. That’s when they are like kids let loose in a candy shop.
In Florida, they were always the president of the Neighborhood Association. They set up endless lists of procedures everyone must follow. Some of these rules may be good, but I’ve found they are often mixed with things that are there for no other reason than to subjugate regular folks. The goal is to put everyone else under the thumb of that person and make them feel powerful. Those rules help no one but him.
When you run into situations like this, again you have to do the very thing that we rule-followers cringe at doing: you must break the rules. There will no doubt be consequences for doing so, because people who make those kinds of rules also LOVE to punish others. Nothing they love more than administering a robust spanking!
So you need to load up the back of your underwear with all the paper towels you can find, and be ready to take your lumps. But you cannot follow those rules, at least not for very long. Because if you do, it will limit every miraculous thing God meant for you to become.
When I’m given a swat on the wrist for something I know wasn’t wrong, my default response is to pull back and retreat in shame. The problem with that is the shame is not coming from God, but from a bully. In that instance, the bully is Satan’s messenger sent to hinder God’s work in me and subvert God’s amazing plan for my life. So it must be resisted. The problem is having the discernment to know when their rules are for our good, or for our destruction.
But I’m learning. I’m discovering God isn’t just telling me to be a “good boy”, but to be the man He’s making me to be. Often that means following Godly rules. But it also means breaking some of the dumb ones.
As our fathers often taught us, the rules of the playground are clear: the only way to beat a bully is to stand up to him. And hopefully break something ugly in the process.
