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Tending Our Roses

Hello, dear reader. Your arrival here is actually very timely. I’ve got some thoughts I’d love to share with you right now…

But I can’t. Really, I can’t.

I can’t because I’m seriously afraid. I’m fearful of what your response will be, because for the first time in my life I feel that writing a piece on “freedom of speech” could actually get me in real trouble.

Our world stays in a perpetual state of high alert now, with violence ready to explode around us with the slightest provocation. We are told the violence is understandable, perhaps even justified. We’re told to stand by and watch, no matter what the cost to life and property. 

And while we’re watching, we’d better keep our mouths shut.

Our societal house is on fire – the “dumpster fire” is now our national meme – but we’re told that’s a good thing. It’s just society righting itself after so many years of wrongs. So as western civilization starts to go up in flames, our neighbors get out the hot dogs and make s’mores. 

But it’s fine, really, just as long as you keep quiet. Nothing to see here. Keep moving along…

At some unknown point along this journey we began weaponizing our opinions. Both sides accuse the other of having started it, but the truth is they both have done similar damage. The accepted response to disagreement is no longer debate, but unbridled aggression. 

We shout down any party who dares to dissent by exposing their home addresses (“doxing”).

We shame them on their social media addresses (“cancelling”). 

The message is clear: disagree and we will come after you. And this statement is not figurative – they mean “come after you” quite literally.

We will boycott your business.

We will ban your speech.

Eventually, we’ll be just outside your bedroom window, because we will be coming to your home. There is nowhere for you to hide from the consequences of holding an opposing view. You will be destroyed, not for a crime, but merely for what you believe to be right.

So what is the end result of this? 

Silence.

More people are becoming afraid to speak out. Unless they whole-heartedly agree with the loudest narrative now in the culture, they are learning quickly to keep quiet.

We are beginning to see some of the atrocities of history rear their ugly heads once again. The ones I’m watching were born on the streets of Berlin about a century ago.

That was when a movement of hate grew to power by intimidating people from speaking out in opposition to them. Any dissent was met with ridicule at first. Then threats. Then open attacks. Eventually people realized speaking up would lose them their jobs, businesses, and eventually their lives.

In the great film Judgment at Nuremberg, Burt Lancaster played Ernst Janning, a high-ranking judge during the rise of Nazism. When cross-examined as to why he sided with Hitler and allowed rights to be abused and millions to be exterminated, he responded simply:

“I was content to tend my roses…”

Screenwriter Abby Mann, who was admittedly left-leaning in his politics, spoke through the character to warn us about how rights were stripped away by the Nazis. In the script, Janning admitted to admiring the renewed vigor he saw in the German people in the late 1930s. He thought Hitler was bringing a sense of pride and self-respect back to the country after the devastation of WWI. So the simplest thing to do every time one of their liberties were taken was to look the other way. 

When finally his neighbors were hauled away to the camps, he focused his gaze on the beauty of his own front yard. As long as the nation was getting stronger, as long as there was a semblance of “peace”, and as long as the soldiers weren’t coming for him, what did it matter if some other voices were silenced? The ends justified the means.

I’m afraid many of us are now following in the footsteps of Ernst Janning. We are becoming a nation comfortable with turning away from the muffled cries next door and are content to “tend our roses”. As long as our “side” is winning, we’re ok with the carnage.

We may fein ignorance, but we can never again honestly wonder how good German people let such evil overtake their land. The footsteps are quiet, but their rhythmic stride is unmistakable – they march in strict unison.

I believe we have begun the march back to August 19, 1934. That was the day history pivoted and the unimaginable happened: a maniac took over complete control of Germany. More amazing is that it all happened without a bloody coup. Likewise, today the clock is turning backward to a time when evil was given free rein and dissent was silenced. 

It was once said that speech was only truly free if we defended the rights of those who we hated as well as those we loved. No more. Now “Free speech” is good only as long as it’s not “fake news”. A growing number believe some speech shouldn’t be allowed, especially if it’s speech that contradicts them. We will continue to bless the silencing of opposition, all in the name of “fairness”.

We’re desensitized to censorship. Surely Facebook and Twitter have only the best motives.

In the past, Silence was said to be golden. But in our day, the sound of silence may eventually prove deadly. That silence is something that should frighten both progressive and conservative alike. Because it is not truly about political ideology. It is about tyranny.

All these are all things I desperately want to say, but dare not. 

Should I oppose the accepted meta-narratives of our time, I know too well what is coming. In attacking me, my position will be misrepresented and shoved as far as possible to the extreme. I will then be branded with a name meant to incite revulsion. The truth of the matter will not matter. Only the accusation will be remembered.

It’s only a small leap and a matter of time until that name I’ve been branded with becomes a patch to be worn on the arm.

So instead, we will chose to remain silent. We will hold our families close and huddle in our homes, hoping no one will notice us. We will tend our own roses, I never allow our gaze to divert toward our neighbors who erred and spoke out. 

That is how it will soon be, just as it was a mere 93 years ago.

The spirit of 08/19/34 is coming around again, but not just in Germany this time. Even now it is enveloping the entire world, leaving no place to hide. 

If left unchecked, this gag placed over our mouths will eventually euthanize the patient with a pillow of silence, held firmly over the face of freedom. And at that moment, no one will be able to hear the screams emanating from our own gardens.

2 Comments

  • Adren Hance
    Posted May 20, 2021 at 7:05 am

    I really enjoyed your writing. It has a clear relevance to how I feel the world is. Keep writing. I want more. It makes me believe there are others like me. It gives me hope.

    • Post Author
      davegipson@hotmail.com
      Posted May 20, 2021 at 10:31 am

      Thanks so much for your kind words and for reading this! Much appreciated. God bless, Dave

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Our dream house was a 120-year old 3-story Victorian home. It was just a few blocks away from one of the loveliest parks in the city and the same distance from the church I pastored. I could literally walk to work, and did so on many mornings. How convenient!

Unlike the other brick houses that lined the streets nearby, this one was painted light yellow and stood apart from the rest. Plaster reliefs of baby angels wrapped around the base of the house. They represented the children of the original owners, making the structure even more unique. It also had a three-car garage at the back of it. Few houses in this older section of town had one as large, and many people resorted to parking on the street. But not us! On just an average salary, we had bought one of the nicest places to live in the area. 

I had always dreamed of owning a Victorian home. I had performed the role of Prof. Henry Higgins from the musical My Fair Lady right before we moved to our new city. So I was primed to live the life of the English gentleman, sipping tea in my beautiful old house. I loved the old wood, the stained glass windows, and our “penthouse suite” for my wife and me on the top floor. We’d be sequestered away from the noise of our little girls playing below us. It all seemed so ideal.

But it turned out to be anything but ideal. Our “Golden House”, as our little girls came to call it, was not so golden. In fact, our dream house almost killed us, quite literally. 

One afternoon I got a call at the church. It was Dawn, my wife, and she was sobbing hysterically. Finally I was able to make out enough of her words to understand what was happening.

“I fell…come home!”

Almost 20 years ago, my wife had been in a bad car accident that crushed her right leg. That ankle couldn’t turn at all. So as I ran the 5 blocks to my home, I knew what had happened.

When I got to the house, I found Dawn in the basement. She was headed to the washer and drier there, and had misjudged a step going down. She hit the concrete floor hard.

After getting her to the hospital, thankfully we learned nothing had been broken. However, that would be just the first of several falls for Dawn down those steps. We eventually moved the washer and drier up to the second floor, which helped a little. But the bottom line was a three-story house with narrow stairways were not meant for a woman who had challenges with mobility.

I also learned having your bedroom on the third-floor is not a good idea for a chubby guy in his mid-50s. There were a few days I wondered if I’d still be alive by the time I reached the top floor. Though I began on the stairway to the bedroom, I might end up on the stairway to heaven…

Then there was the city. Dawn and I always loved culture, restaurants, theater and all the things a great city has to offer. So living there, we felt like kids in a candy store. There was always some new restaurant to explore, always a show playing somewhere, and interesting people living all around us. It seemed ideal.

Except for crime. And taxes. Many cities are big on those, and ours was no exception. We had both in abundance.

One of our regular nightly diversions was watching the notifications on our community’s “Next Door App” alert us to all the recent shootings and hold-ups around us. One of us would hear gunshots, and I’d watch for the posts to pop up. I’d then calculate how close it was to our home. Many were within just a few blocks, some just down the street. 

We would occasionally get notices of some tax we hadn’t paid. Usually, we neglected to pay because the city had neglected to ever send a bill. Then one day, you get a notice you’re being sent to a collections agency, even though you still hadn’t received a bill yourself. 

Once we got a bill for trash pick-up. We were confused because we paid a refuse bill on time every month. But a lady on the phone informed us what we had paid was in fact only the garbage bill. There was completely different bill that was a tax for just having trash pick up available to us in the city. This bill was paying for the “possibility” our trash might be picked up. No kidding.

I’m sure they’re still probably working on a way to collect a tax on our taxes. 

All of this added together was a painful lesson on the difference between perception and reality. After we first moved to that city and were still living in an apartment, I walked down those very streets and fantasized about how wonderful living there would be. When we found the Golden House, we rejoiced and basically cried out, “Here, take our money” to the realtor. 

But the view from the outside of a situation is always much different from the inside. Nothing is ever quite what you expect…with houses, or with life.

The problem with so many of the things we want is it’s too often based on an illusion. We think a thing, a person, or a situation will bring happiness. But happiness is never found in those things outside of us.

Real happiness only happens from the inside out.

There’s an old fashioned Bible word for this foolishness: covetousness. The prohibition against coveting is actually the 10th and final commandment. It’s easily skimmed over in favor of the more R-rated commandments against murder or adultery. Simply wanting your neighbors stuff as opposed to stealing it or killing for it seems like no big deal in comparison.

But coveting is like a powerful drug. The addict never gets enough. Once he gets that one thing he’s obsessed over, he’s disappointed to realize it doesn’t fulfill his needs and he moves on to something more. The new car he’d wanted all his life now sits in the garage most days. She can’t even remember why she bought that purse now. That’s how coveting works: whatever you get, it’s never enough. You’re always left wanting something else, and even more addicted to your desires.

Whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure, for my heart rejoiced in all my labor; And this was my reward from all my labor. Then I looked on all the works that my hands had done and on the labor in which I had toiled; And indeed all was vanity and grasping for the wind. There was no profit under the sun. - Ecclesiastes 2:10-11

Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions. - Luke 12:15

There was nothing wrong with us wanting a house. But it was very wrong of me to think that it would bring us so much happiness on its own. The ideal life and fulfillment I was expecting from a house was unreasonable. 

That kind of happiness only comes from God’s address, not mine.

Inevitably, we become like kids on the day after Christmas. We’ve opened every package, played with every toy, and we’re already bored with them. The newness wore off in a day, all because we were expecting too much from them to begin with.

Most homes stop being dream houses the minute we walk into them. Reality inevitably sets in, and the “house porn” on the realtor’s website is now just a bunch of plaster and dry wall. 

We finally made it out of our dream house before it killed us. No, we didn't run screaming from it in the middle of the night like in the Shining or the Amityville Horror. When we left, it did take quite a bite out of our finances, and we had to sell for quite a bit less than we'd paid. But the wound was worth it for the lesson we learned.

We’re in a new place now, in a much smaller city. We’re renting a little one-story house we’re hoping to buy soon. We're in a little neighborhood where we hardly ever lock our front door. It's pretty boring compared to city life, but that’s just fine with me.

I’ve discovered what really makes a “dream house”. The dream is not the house, it’s the people you put in it. Regardless of the size or location, those people are what makes life worthwhile. 

Everything else is just a dream. And all that glitters is not a golden house.

Our dream house was a 120-year old 3-story Victorian home. It was just a few blocks away from one of the loveliest parks in the city and the same distance from the church I pastored. I could literally walk to work, and did so on many mornings. How convenient!

Unlike the other brick houses that lined the streets nearby, this one was painted light yellow and stood apart from the rest. Plaster reliefs of baby angels wrapped around the base of the house. They represented the children of the original owners, making the structure even more unique. It also had a three-car garage at the back of it. Few houses in this older section of town had one as large, and many people resorted to parking on the street. But not us! On just an average salary, we had bought one of the nicest places to live in the area. 

I had always dreamed of owning a Victorian home. I had performed the role of Prof. Henry Higgins from the musical My Fair Lady right before we moved to our new city. So I was primed to live the life of the English gentleman, sipping tea in my beautiful old house. I loved the old wood, the stained glass windows, and our “penthouse suite” for my wife and me on the top floor. We’d be sequestered away from the noise of our little girls playing below us. It all seemed so ideal.

But it turned out to be anything but ideal. Our “Golden House”, as our little girls came to call it, was not so golden. In fact, our dream house almost killed us, quite literally. 

One afternoon I got a call at the church. It was Dawn, my wife, and she was sobbing hysterically. Finally I was able to make out enough of her words to understand what was happening.

“I fell…come home!”

Almost 20 years ago, my wife had been in a bad car accident that crushed her right leg. That ankle couldn’t turn at all. So as I ran the 5 blocks to my home, I knew what had happened.

When I got to the house, I found Dawn in the basement. She was headed to the washer and drier there, and had misjudged a step going down. She hit the concrete floor hard.

After getting her to the hospital, thankfully we learned nothing had been broken. However, that would be just the first of several falls for Dawn down those steps. We eventually moved the washer and drier up to the second floor, which helped a little. But the bottom line was a three-story house with narrow stairways were not meant for a woman who had challenges with mobility.

I also learned having your bedroom on the third-floor is not a good idea for a chubby guy in his mid-50s. There were a few days I wondered if I’d still be alive by the time I reached the top floor. Though I began on the stairway to the bedroom, I might end up on the stairway to heaven…

Then there was the city. Dawn and I always loved culture, restaurants, theater and all the things a great city has to offer. So living there, we felt like kids in a candy store. There was always some new restaurant to explore, always a show playing somewhere, and interesting people living all around us. It seemed ideal.

Except for crime. And taxes. Many cities are big on those, and ours was no exception. We had both in abundance.

One of our regular nightly diversions was watching the notifications on our community’s “Next Door App” alert us to all the recent shootings and hold-ups around us. One of us would hear gunshots, and I’d watch for the posts to pop up. I’d then calculate how close it was to our home. Many were within just a few blocks, some just down the street. 

We would occasionally get notices of some tax we hadn’t paid. Usually, we neglected to pay because the city had neglected to ever send a bill. Then one day, you get a notice you’re being sent to a collections agency, even though you still hadn’t received a bill yourself. 

Once we got a bill for trash pick-up. We were confused because we paid a refuse bill on time every month. But a lady on the phone informed us what we had paid was in fact only the garbage bill. There was completely different bill that was a tax for just having trash pick up available to us in the city. This bill was paying for the “possibility” our trash might be picked up. No kidding.

I’m sure they’re still probably working on a way to collect a tax on our taxes. 

All of this added together was a painful lesson on the difference between perception and reality. After we first moved to that city and were still living in an apartment, I walked down those very streets and fantasized about how wonderful living there would be. When we found the Golden House, we rejoiced and basically cried out, “Here, take our money” to the realtor. 

But the view from the outside of a situation is always much different from the inside. Nothing is ever quite what you expect…with houses, or with life.

The problem with so many of the things we want is it’s too often based on an illusion. We think a thing, a person, or a situation will bring happiness. But happiness is never found in those things outside of us.

Real happiness only happens from the inside out.

There’s an old fashioned Bible word for this foolishness: covetousness. The prohibition against coveting is actually the 10th and final commandment. It’s easily skimmed over in favor of the more R-rated commandments against murder or adultery. Simply wanting your neighbors stuff as opposed to stealing it or killing for it seems like no big deal in comparison.

But coveting is like a powerful drug. The addict never gets enough. Once he gets that one thing he’s obsessed over, he’s disappointed to realize it doesn’t fulfill his needs and he moves on to something more. The new car he’d wanted all his life now sits in the garage most days. She can’t even remember why she bought that purse now. That’s how coveting works: whatever you get, it’s never enough. You’re always left wanting something else, and even more addicted to your desires.

Whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure, for my heart rejoiced in all my labor; And this was my reward from all my labor. Then I looked on all the works that my hands had done and on the labor in which I had toiled; And indeed all was vanity and grasping for the wind. There was no profit under the sun. - Ecclesiastes 2:10-11

Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions. - Luke 12:15

There was nothing wrong with us wanting a house. But it was very wrong of me to think that it would bring us so much happiness on its own. The ideal life and fulfillment I was expecting from a house was unreasonable. 

That kind of happiness only comes from God’s address, not mine.

Inevitably, we become like kids on the day after Christmas. We’ve opened every package, played with every toy, and we’re already bored with them. The newness wore off in a day, all because we were expecting too much from them to begin with.

Most homes stop being dream houses the minute we walk into them. Reality inevitably sets in, and the “house porn” on the realtor’s website is now just a bunch of plaster and dry wall. 

We finally made it out of our dream house before it killed us. No, we didn't run screaming from it in the middle of the night like in the Shining or the Amityville Horror. When we left, it did take quite a bite out of our finances, and we had to sell for quite a bit less than we'd paid. But the wound was worth it for the lesson we learned.

We’re in a new place now, in a much smaller city. We’re renting a little one-story house we’re hoping to buy soon. We're in a little neighborhood where we hardly ever lock our front door. It's pretty boring compared to city life, but that’s just fine with me.

I’ve discovered what really makes a “dream house”. The dream is not the house, it’s the people you put in it. Regardless of the size or location, those people are what makes life worthwhile. 

Everything else is just a dream. And all that glitters is not a golden house.