A few years back, I wrote a song about gossip called “BIG MOUTH”. To soften some of the tough truths in the lyrics, I set the song in the context of an old Science Fiction movie from the 50s. The Big Mouth destroying the church was a gigantic monster, stomping on steeples like Godzilla did Tokyo. It was funny, creative, and became one of my favorite songs I’d ever written.
During Covid, I decided it would be cool to make a music video to go along with the song. I searched for an old sci-fi movie from which I could take clips to illustrate the song’s message. I picked out the most ridiculous example I could find: a giant fire-breathing chicken. I thought for sure that would keep anyone from taking things too seriously.
Boy, was I in for a surprise!
When I proudly posted the video, a fellow believer wrote a scathing complaint to the church I was serving. They began a campaign against me, saying that the fire breathing chicken looked satanic. Evidently, I was trying to introduce witchcraft into the church! After trying to reason with them, I finally just shook my head and took the video down.
I’ve found that being a creative Christian is often a full contact support. If you ever wonder why most Christian films and music have so little creativity, this is your answer. We know that to create something unique, out of the box and innovative, there will always be a group of people there to misunderstand and rip it apart.
This past Sunday, I did a popular Christian song in the worship that most every believer adores. Afterwards, people said very encouraging things. But members’ compliments rarely outnumber complaints in most churches. Those things overheard in hallways, whispered in passing, or said out in the open in a Sunday school class or fellowship supper. And then when you see those same folks in the hallway, you’re supposed to pretend you don’t know what they said and love them.
That’s when all my years of acting really come in handy!
So when people tell me they’ve been hurt by a church, I don’t blink, and I certainly don’t argue with them. Not only do I have that T-shirt, I’ve got a closet full of them.
In the ministry, you need become used to people being critical. I’m not talking about the folks who see a problem and offer help in private. It’s the critics who always criticize you publicly, making sure you are embarrassed. They want everyone to appoint them the “quality control inspector” for the church.
I’ve also discovered most of these people have that same “ministry of criticism” within their own families. At family functions, they are quick with the disapproving look and a cutting observation. If what you want is attention, criticism is the low hanging fruit you reach for.
So what motivates the critics around us? Whatever it is, it is not an honest desire to be helpful. Godly instruction is always done in private, because love never seeks to personally embarrass a fellow believer. Public shaming is what you do to an enemy, not a brother or sister.
More often, the problem is in the heart of the critic, not in what they criticize. When I’m guilty of criticism, I’ve looked in my own heart and found these motives:
We criticize in order to appear like the smartest person in the room.
We criticize because we are jealous of what someone else is doing.
Some criticize because of arrogance, actually believing that no one else but them has any common sense.
We criticize because bitterness has taken such a root in our hearts, we resent the joy and happiness of others.
Some criticism is actually angry people projecting their own hatred onto others, assuming everyone else is just as hateful as them.
Most of all, we criticize because we don’t trust God to settle all accounts in the end. We somehow believe He actually needs our help to make things right.
In the end, criticism doesn’t illuminate the failings of others, but those within the critics themselves.
So how do we respond to those with a critical spirit? The best way is to ask the critic if they have gone to that person in private about their criticism. Most people don’t have the guts to do that, but it’s really the only right response.
When you do that, 99% of the time they will protest and say, “You know that person! They don’t want to listen to anything bad about themselves!” Funny thing, but who does? That’s not the point. Whether or not they want to hear it is no reason not to do the right thing. And the right thing is always directly to the person, and in private.
Being openly critical of each other is not innocent, it is destructive and can destroy lives. Nothing makes people leave a church like hurtful words. And it’s so powerful because so many believers never stand against it and call it out for what it is.
It’s time to speak up and speak the truth, in love, before someone else’s careless whispers destroys something beautiful.
