If you’re a Christian who doesn’t go to church, I bet I can tell you why. Because I was one…for a while.
We had just left pastoring a church because of a death in our family. My brother-in-law had been killed by a drunk driver, so I quit my job and moved my family for us to be near his widow and 3 sons.
When we got to our new town, I was frankly sick of church. I’d pastored one church-startup for 5 years, then pastored an innercity church for two more. I was experiencing burnout and wanted little to do with the local church.
In our new town, I got two jobs. I sang at a Christian theatre at night, and worked at a ministry giving food, clothing, and furniture to the poor during the day. The first weekend we were there, we reveled in the freedom of staying home on Sunday morning. We slept late and enjoyed brunch around 11am. I did not miss church, at all.
Until the next Sunday. My vacation was over. We were back in church and kept going until we moved away 8 months later.
What I felt that first Sunday at home was more than guilt. Part of my problem was I knew the Bible. And the Bible has some very specific things to say about being part of a local congregation.
“And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near” – Hebrews 10:25
That passage was not talking about neglecting “hanging out and watching the game” together, nor was it warning against forgetting to attend Bible studies or watch Christian TV. It was talking specifically about something that even some Christians are giving up on these days…
It’s talking about being an active part of a local church body. Period.
Notice it didn’t say “it would be great if you tried not to neglect it” or “do your best not to neglect it”. The writer is giving a command. “Let us not” may sound polite, but it’s much the same way your high school teacher would say, “Let’s all sit down, take a #2 pencil, and begin the exam”.
It was not a suggestion. It was a politely-stated command.
Lots of people evidently stopped going during the pandemic and never came back. Frankly, I don’t think their churches miss them much. The way I figure, they were only going because it was the socially acceptable thing to do. As soon as they got a good excuse, they stopped. And the fact they’ve never returned is pretty good evidence of what’s important to them.
Before you accuse me of being judgmental with that last statement, ask yourself this: if someone loves high school football, where do they go on Friday nights? If they love big epic movies, where do they go to see them? And if someone really loves Jesus, where do they go so they can be around other folks who love Him too?
Some folks have told me they just don’t get anything out of church. I find that funny, since I didn’t know church was supposed to do something for you. I’ve always understood church as a community to which I was supposed to contribute something. While we attended that church in our new town, I started singing in the choir. Why? Because Christians go to church not to receive, but to give.
Some try to spiritualize their absence, saying Sunday is their “day of rest”. After I roll my eyes, I remind them that the purpose of that rest was a rest from your job so you could specifically focus on the Lord. It’s not so you could focus on your couch.
There was little Sunday rest for the early church, who met for the first couple of centuries on Sunday NIGHTS. Why? Because Sunday was still a work day. So they came together, after a long day of hard work, in the evenings for a common meal and worship. It would probably be a bad idea to suggest to those early Christians that Sundays are tough for you. They didn’t think it was too “tough” to face the lions and suffer death for their faith.
Why did I not want to go to church? For me, it was negative experiences with people. That’s the reason many cite when they stopped going to church too. However, I’ve also had negative experiences at the grocery store. A clerk was rude to me, or another shopper bumped their cart aggressively into mine.
Funny thing, I never stopped going to the grocery store. Why? Because despite rudeness, I still needed to eat.
And despite whatever has happened to you, you still need spiritual food. But this is when you remind me that there is great teaching on the internet to enjoy in the privacy of your home. True, if the whole purpose of church was just to teach you the Bible. But this leads to the scariest reason some Christians don’t really want to go to church…
Accountability. In other words, they don’t want anyone with any spiritual authority (pastor, elders, teachers) to be able to tell them “no”.
Though I wasn’t a “pastor” then, I was working in a ministry during the week. So I was around Christians and doing “good works”. However, that’s not the same as “church”. Church is being part of a community of believers. As messy as people are, I don’t get to follow Jesus on my own terms. Real Christianity is always a “team sport”.
And since I was trained as a pastor, I could have argued that I knew enough of the Bible that I didn’t need to hear some other guy preaching it to me every Sunday. Ah, but how arrogant that would have been!
I needed accountability to other Christians ESPECIALLY since I was a pastor. That’s the great thing about churches – the church members hold the pastor accountable TOO! Since pastors are human, it works both ways! No matter how much spiritual knowledge we have, we always need mature believers speaking into our lives and telling us when we are headed the wrong way.
Everybody needs somebody who can tell them NO!
What happens when someone with a gift for speaking is allowed to use their gifts WITHOUT that kind of spiritual accountability? That’s easy. I’ve got two quick names for you:
David Koresh and Jim Jones.
Both were knowledgable in the Bible, and both had gifts to speak. But both isolated themselves from anyone who could discipline them. They set themselves up as spiritually superior to others, and insulated themselves with sycophants. When people tried to stop them, they isolated their communities from family and friends and brought death and destruction on their “yes men”.
When that second Sunday after moving rolled around, we found ourselves back in church. Why? Because I would have started a cult without it? Because I just had to hear the latest Chris Tomlin chorus made up with the same 4 chords again?
No. We got involved in a church again because God said in Hebrews we needed to do it. Quite simply, God wants EVERY SINGLE BELIEVER in church every Sunday they are able to go. The church is God’s best plan for every Christian. It is His “Plan A” to save the world.
So much of what I learned in those months just being a member of the congregation has informed how I minister today. It was an invaluable experience, and one that ended up helping me more than I ever helped that church.
And despite the joys of sleeping in and every excuse in the world, I discovered for myself why the Church is God’s “Plan A”. Quite simply, there is no “Plan B”.
