The Little Woman

Something I wrote while my wife was making me a sandwich...

FullSizeRender-1This is soup. My awesome wife Dawn made some for supper tonight.

Author’s note: I did not force her to cook this meal in any patrician/male-dominating sort of way. I’m pretty sure she did not feel coerced to do it and it did not betray her femininity to take on such a traditional conservative role for women.

I also did not “man-splain” to her how it should be done. You see, she likes to cook. She also likes to be a mom and work at home. 

Additionally, I did not forbid her to attend the Women’s March on the Saturday after Trump’s inauguration. Funny thing about Dawn, she’s not that much into shouting, protesting or other “symbolic gestures”. She’s strangely focused on actually “doing things that help people”, like taking food to a sick friend or keeping someone’s kids in a pinch, even though she has 5 of her own.

Also, she heard that the Women’s March didn’t allow Pro-Life groups to march with them. Seems they only wanted one kind of women to attend, and my lovely wife didn’t quite fit their narrative. So instead, we all did something together that day as a family.

My wife is what some of you might refer to as a “Stepford Wife”. The Stepford Wives was a horror movie about men who had their wives replaced with subservient robots. These new wives looked just like the old ones, but never aged and never said no. The movie was a feminist shot against traditional views of marriage and family.  The idea was women were being forced against their wills into lives they didn’t want by men who wanted slaves more than wives.

Interestingly, I’m pretty sure my wife doesn’t feel boxed in by motherhood and domestic life. She’s taken outside jobs when she chose to. And she herself chose to focus on being a wife and mom, and thrives in it.  And I am incredibly blessed because of that.

You see, we have something called “a real life”. We don’t live for the latest protest, the trendiest self-righteous stand, or for what people think of us on Facebook. We take a stand where it matters: in our family and lives, and occasionally the voting booth. Beyond that, we find practical ways to change the world, one life at a time.

I know this sounds crazy but instead of just talking about what’s wrong, we actually try to do things that make the world better. We volunteer, we foster other people’s children, we adopt. That’s quite a contrast to people today who just speak loudly then do absolutely nothing that actually benefits others.

Sorry if that sounded self-righteous, but it’s just the truth.

Author’s next note: I did not demand that Dawn be a stay-at-home mom. She’s had a few jobs in the past, but always felt they kept her from her true calling: being a wife and mom.

And in case you didn’t know, that choice is a real sacrifice. I do not make much money as a pastor (at all), so her staying home means we don’t have the spare cash you probably do. We haven’t taken a real vacation in…oh…over 10 years. We go to see our relatives every few months and stay with them. That’s because we love them, but also because that’s all we can afford.

We’ve also made the sacrifice over the years to homeschool our kids at times. This wasn’t so we could brainwash them with some cultic philosophy, unless you call basic classical Christianity a cult. We didn’t keep them quarantined from all popular culture or make them wear clothes from Little House on the Prairie while taking classes in butter churning. We just wanted to protect them from some things the rest of the world allows in public school that we didn’t think were age-appropriate.

So back to this evening’s repast. It’s potato soup, with some bacon and parsley mixed. You may be wondering “What is the strategy behind her, a head-strong and fierce contemporary female, choosing to make soup tonight?”

Well, it’s a bit cold outside. So we’re gonna eat soup, and feel all warm inside. Brilliant.

In the process, we’ll laugh and smiled at each other across the table. I’ll probably thank her in front of the kids for taking the time to do it. Because, again, I don’t take it for granted and no one forces her.

You see, this is called being a traditional Christian family. No one’s being forced into any gender-specific something-or-other. No one’s personality is being squelched, or rights being infringed upon. We just think it’s the best way to be, and it has brought us incredible joy throughout the years. 

Author’s last note: ours is the life some of you make fun of as “backward” and unenlightened .  You might be surprised that we’re not stupid or sexually repressed, as some have implied in their protests and endless Facebook posts. We’re not hate-filled, nor fear-mongering. We don’t look down on others who do not share our values, though we do feel like they are missing out.

Perhaps the main difference between our family and yours is that we see simpler, more traditional things in life as being more valuable than you do. We want to hold onto those things, cherish them, and preserve them in the midst of a world bent on ridiculing and destroying everything pure and innocent.

Our lives are not that radical, when you think of it. We actually treasure some of the same basics – family, children, home, faith – that have been valued for thousands of years, regardless of culture or background.

I know, you’re too smart to hold onto those old, stale out-dated traditions. Surely, no (big word alert) sentient, educated person would want to hold onto the past with its rules and boundaries hindering society’s unbridled freedoms and sexual revolution?

Yet amazingly, backward yokels like my wife and I often have very informed opinions on issues. That is, if you bother to listen to us and stop arrogantly accusing us of prejudices and biases we do not possess. It may be surprising, but someone other than you, with a good heart and a sharp mind, actually sees a different solution to the same problems you see.

Honestly, I can even admit where some people’s love of traditional values has caused them not to embrace change in society as quickly as needed, especially when others were in need.

Can you do that? Can you admit where “your side” goes off the rails at times? Or will you arrogantly continue to condescend toward these others, and miss the joy of their company? 

Tell me, are you mature enough to be friends with people like us who disagree with your solutions, but still want to help?

Are you humble like Jesus, or arrogant like Judas?

Take a moment and answer that for yourself. Think about it, and I’ll eat another spoonful of soup.

If your answer is to stop the division and try to reach out instead of accusing each other, maybe then we can move forward. And in the meantime, maybe you can get a real life and stop wasting yours posting angry things on your Facebook and Twitter accounts, while you shout down people like us and deny us free speech.

Got all that? Good.

So where to start in bridging the gaps between us? 

Start with soup. Because regardless of people’s politics or religion, seriously, who doesn’t like soup? ;0)

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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