These are my two little girls, 5 and 6 years old, asleep in our home. A picture of safety and peace.
We adopted them after fostering them from birth. One is part African American, the other Latina. The lives of both me and my wife revolve totally around them. Put simply, we adore them.
I’d like to keep them safe in here forever, but I know I can’t. They will eventually have to venture out. They’ll attend school and be around lots of different kinds of children.
But one day, someone will be the first. And their innocent little hearts will never be the same.
Someday, some child will point out how much darker my daughters’ skin is than their own. At that moment, my girls will suddenly feel different than everyone else and they’ll never look at the world the same.
But on another day, someone else will be the first as well. And they’ll never look at me the same again.
Someday, someone will tell them people my color are “the problem”. They’ll paint us all with the same broad brush, and they’ll say that people who look like me are privileged oppressors who ignore the struggles of darker people like them.
On that day, they’ll try to pit my own child against me. And no matter how much they know I love them, my little girls will never look at me the same. At that moment, their “age of innocence” will be over, and they’ll know the ugly truths this world is all so eager to teach them.
Pick your side quickly. Say the right words, or you’ll be cancelled. It’s us versus them. And anyone trying to stand in the middle will only get caught in the crossfire.
We’re making everything right now about race, but it’s really not. This is the trick being played on us all today.
We’re being made to look at each other as the enemy, based on nothing more than our shade of skin. But whether you’re a conservative or progressive, white or black, and whether your enemy wears a white sheet or a black mask, both sides are dividing us with hate over nothing more than pigmentation.
No, I’m not suggesting we should be color blind. That’s not possible. We all see color.
The real problem is when we ONLY see color.
Right now, we see nothing but color, and that’s where we’re truly “color blind”. We’re like someone who’s stared into the sun too long. We’re blinded by color, and now stagger around swinging our arms at any shadow crossing our path. Many innocent bystanders are being hurt, but we’re too blind to see the damage.
I have a favor to ask: a point of personal privilege, if not white privilege…
For the sake of my girls, could we stop this now? Please?
I know that sounds selfish, but parents always want the best for their kids. And I so want a future where every good possibility is available to them. I want no racial barriers to hold them back whatsoever.
But I also want a future where they aren’t tricked into viewing every human being and every action through the prism of race. I don’t want them polluted with that level of cynicism, nor do I want them to see themselves as merely victims of racism.
As the father of two mixed-race children, I want them to grow up empowered to reach for the stars. I do NOT want them being told they are victims, that they are exceptional only because of their race, and that their parents are the enemy.
So forgive me my idealism for a moment, as I put my beautiful dark-skinned daughters at the center of the universe. That’s what all parents do, I guess.
But if you won’t stop all this for them, how about for your own children? Do you really want them growing up angry, walking around with a chip on their shoulders? Or do you want them fearful, always looking over their shoulders?
Replacing one flavor of hate for another will leave a bitter taste in all our mouths. Seeing one race as evil or seeing race as everything are really the same poison for different pallets.
Both will leave hate simmering in our hearts. Each brew is just as deadly. They’re just a slightly different color.
