I thought it only fair that I let you know why I won’t be responding to your posts right now. It’s not because I don’t have anything to say; it’s because I won’t be seeing your posts anymore.
I won’t see them because I’ve unfollowed you on social media. And I want you to know why…
I admit I’m a rather strange guy. I listen to everything from NPR to Fox News, and much in between. I can willingly consider any side of an argument. I can listen even to those with whom I strongly disagree. And I can do so without getting angry at the person, even if they’re angry with me.
But two things I can’t abide: arrogance and hatefulness. When those two show up, I walk away. But I do so out of love, not hate.
This past week (election week 2020), I unfollowed many people on various social media platforms. In just a few hours time, I unfollowed several Facebook pages, and deleted my support for several organizations that made it clear they could not remain impartial. They were happy to exclude and disenfranchise one whole group of people just to make another feel comfortable.
In retrospect, I’ve probably unfollowed, unliked, or unfriended around 50 people or groups. Interestingly, they have been from both sides of the political aisles.
The anger and condescension spilling out of my computer screen this week has been almost unbearable. The ironic thing is each side would assume that the hate is only coming from the other side.
But the hate and anger is coming from both directions. If you don’t see it, your eyes are wide shut.
If anyone thinks election day solved anything, I’m afraid they are deeply deluded. Four year’s worth of calling each other horrible names won’t be going away any time soon. And if you’re one of the people who’s been doing the name calling, calling for peace now lacks any moral resonance whatsoever.
If you live by the sword you die by the sword. Fight fire with fire, and all you’re left with is ashes.
I’ve preached this gospel passionately to friends for years now, but they just smile at me as one would a naive child. I can tell they consider my standards of kindness and respect as quaint artifacts of a bygone era. Many of them claim to be Christians, and continue enthusiastically in their hatefulness.
Jesus is probably getting dizzy by now from “face-palming” Himself so often at our antics.
Some of them embarrass me so, I wish they wouldn’t tell anyone they’re Christians anymore. Their actions and words so seldom resemble Jesus, I’d prefer they identified as Ba’al worshippers.
In a way, they have much in common with those pagans of old. They believed they could win favor by sacrificing their children and loved ones on the altar of their god. So many today are happy to sacrifice relationships, just as long as “their side wins”.
My dear, precious friend: you ought to be ashamed.
You see, it’s power that matters most to you. Everything is to be sacrificed on that altar. Faith and hope are nice, but power guarantees results. Or so you believe.
Though many saw it as a danger from the start, I’ve loved social media since the first time I logged on. It helps me get reconnected with old friends and deepen current friendships. But most of all, I’ve loved making new friends with people I don’t always completely agree with. I think it’s a magical thing when folks who disagree can still choose to get along.
I always believed that was a possible, even noble goal. But now, not so much. But ultimately it’s not your fault I’m unfollowing you. It’s mine.
You see…I’m having trouble loving you right now.
I know now why the Bible warns us to guard our fellowship and love for each other:
“But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!” – Galatians 5:15
So when I feel so insulted, so disgusted by what I hear come out of a friend’s mouth (or read on their page) that I’m consumed with anger, that’s the time to walk away so that the love can remain.
I’m determined no one is going to make me stop loving you. I used to believe we could all learn how to “play nice and get along with others” as they taught us in kindergarten – that we could “agree to disagree agreeably”.
I no longer believe that. At least, not right now.
My hope is that things will calm down in our country and people will learn to cherish each other again, more than they cherish the sound of their own voice. But for now, I’m not responding to any more of your posts. I won’t engage in any more back and forth with you, at least until it’s safe again.
No lie – I’m gonna miss it. I loved the banter back and forth, and seeing pictures of what’s happening in your life. But it’s turned into something totally different now…
It’s a giant billboard for you to vomit your anger on the rest of the world.
I’m not saying I’ve never done that, I’m just saying I don’t want to be that person. And out of love for you, I’d rather be in denial and believe you’re a better person than you are.
My hope is that one day, when the dust settles and we all remember what matters most in life, we’ll be friends again.
Until then, God bless.
Dave
